Inside the Veil
By Jayanti Mishra
It is well said that a woman goes through the three phases in her life. Once as a daughter where she is born, second as a wife when she gets married and third is when she becomes mother. It is said that a woman life is incomplete until she gives birth to a child. It seems bit amazing that how a person can have three lives in a single life but a woman easily confront all the challenges and goes through it successfully. For each phase there is a need of patience, courage and a lot of effort.
When a baby girl is born in the family then nobody cherished the moment as compare to the birth of a baby boy. She starts growing up there and suddenly from the early age she realizes that she is a girl and should not do this and that because her upbringing is different from the male siblings in the house. What is right and what is wrong for her is being taught to her from her early age. It always restricts her from thinking freely and doesn’t build confidence in decision-making. What is right for their brother might not be right for her? For e.g. A boy can have fun with their friends according to their wish free to move anywhere he likes but there is restriction for a girl. It seems as if being a daughter is crime for her. But then also she finds happiness in the happiness of her family and suppresses her feelings. She compromise with each and everything as much as she can. When she grows up her mentality also grows accordingly. In eastern culture arranged marriage is well accepted by the society than love marriage. Most of the girl easily gets married to the man whom she doesn’t know and is selected by her parents and well wishers. She easily accepts the offer to devote herself mentally and physically whom she doesn’t know. Here the first phase of her life ends and she is ready to welcome the second phase of her life.
Eastern people are more family oriented comparing to the western people. Life runs in a mutual understanding between all the family members but not the individuals. These things of mutual understanding matters a lot when a girl gets married. She has to adopt different changes with which she is not use to, soon after her marriage. For every woman getting married is the greatest dream of her life. A veil which adorns her look up at the time of marriage brings a lot of responsibilities a change in her physical and mental structure. The whole prestige of the two families her father’s and the husbands both depends on her. She is solely responsible to maintain the better relationship between the two families properly. Knowing each and every family members priority and then acting accordingly is not an easy task. All the pros and cons must be analyzed before doing anything. Every step seems challenging at that phase when a girl is just adjusting in a new environment. For other people it is simply that a person gets married and the matter finishes but it’s not the truth. When we just shifts the household item from one place to another then it takes a lot of time to adjust. When the matter is to adjust ourselves a life from one place to another then it’s very difficult.
When the man returns home from the office working whole day then he is not supposed to do anything. He rather wants to than relax. He was busy at office and doesn’t want to get more exhausted by the household and other tensions. He even doesn’t care to hear the problems his wife is facing but at the same time when his wife is also a working woman she has to solve every problems from her official to household herself. We say that now we are approaching towards the modernization but this sort of discrimination is still prevailing in our society and it clearly shows that there is still discrimination between man and woman.
A girl has to be mature before her maturity time begins. This is bit painful also due to the lack of understanding and maturity but in other words a girl especially has to suppress most of her feelings to begin a new life in order to accommodate herself properly in new environment. That is the single way to make her feel comfortable. Ultimately she finds herself she is not the one who was few years back. Her identity, her principles, her priority everything changes by the passage of the time and this is how she starts a second phase of her life being a wife.
After getting married she gives birth to a child bearing intolerable pain. All her pain vanishes when she sees her baby in her arm. This is the beginning of the third phase of her life. Her priority now changes from husband to the children. She always thinks of her baby and family and finds her happiness in it. She confronts different challenges in order to make her baby’s life better and try her best till the last breathe of hers. She gives the pure love to the children without any selfishness. She is always the giver for her children. All the happiness lies between the family members and their children only till her death.
There is also a drawback in the woman themselves as she can’t raise voice against this type of injustice because her moral doesn’t allow because her upbringing taught her to tolerate. Especially women are prohibited of doing any action against their family. I hats off to the entire woman who are handling house and work effectively and finding her happiness in the happiness of her family. Being a son, husband, and father if one doesn’t realize what a woman is and how she is handling everything alone putting her whole happiness in stake then its very unfortunate for us.
Whatever she is never every try to underestimate the power of woman who can give birth to a new life bearing intolerable pain just a single word of complement will remove all her sorrow and pain that goes within her. Let her also enjoy the life rather than imposing the thoughts of right and wrong, good and bad. Discuss with her likes and dislikes. Let her also come out of the veil and see the wonderful world .Always remember after all she is also a human being!!!!
