Who can prove that I was a virgin
( “Tibet Online”), her face clear lines, it is some slight cold. A thick cover up Photochromic eye glasses, she looked so powerful are as unpredictable. Minzhaozui her lips, like swallowing what Lip Edge exposed several sensitive wrinkles.
She originally stretch on the stretch of high-grade plate is dark gray suit and lenses from the cold after I gazed long until I began to worry that she refused the interview, she suddenly overcast mood for lack of preparation.
“I hate the question you raised.” She wrinkled brow behind glasses.
“Yes, I am one of those old maids, — I also hate ‘old maids’ This word! Virgin and all the words I hate children! This is my broken heart!
“From the day of birth, at least I know that my gender, my heart would know that I was the man for a retained, the existence of the man, where, I have no idea but I must keep its own!
“I have in the mountains of Shaanxi over recent years interpolation team. These people generously and uninhibited rude while poverty. I am only 17 years old then. These people taught me a lot of things, taught me to understand what is a woman.
“Memory Lane a total indelibly this scene : a young bride married in a morning refreshed its holding to the blood on a white cloth to the door waiting for the wedding of their parents, in-laws, neighbors neighbors show off their virginity. Parents met with bloodstains on it, heaved a sigh of relief and elation; it met with her in-laws and blood, with relief, happiness; I saw that blood, heart brush to a cold.
“… I read the first day, and several girls son learned to ride, on the addiction to the same menstrual when riding. My small stature, February 8 male car seat high, and it was when the three difficult period, the toilet paper is an alternative to brown, Hard-very rough, forced genital abrasions , the inflammation.
“Mom brought me to the hospital, doctors gave me medicine to cleaning. Mothers and doctors said a lot, I do not have to remember, I just remember a doctor have no feelings by saying : ‘This child hymen thin, worn by. ‘Mom was shocked and could not tell what was only’ ah - - ‘the sound of a butt to sit on the bench.
“I wait up. I feel faint about hymen is incredible things. Later gradually heard such as’ virgin Po ‘category of a word, the more their hymen is not the complete and pains.
“Mountains, the scene made me understand more thoroughly : I can not show the bloodstains. Although I was a virgin.
“You do not think that my presence will love this kind of inferiority complex, had several men seek me, I see why they. Almost every person I would like to have sexual relations, I am not willing. I had very contradictory. I understand them, we are older youth, their lust is normal. I actually think, and I also have a small, sexual desire often harassed me. but I dare not. not for the other, they are afraid that they found I was not a virgin and I suspect the past is not clean. … ”
Her voice low and, in empty office roundabout, with a trace of regret.
“Who can prove that my virginity? I dare not bear love, I was lost ‘virgin Po’ virginity.
“I have seen many people downtown divorce, the marriage is the reason she lost death, the loss of virginity, loss of that damned ‘virgin Po’. How can I do that?
“I love is suffering. I do not want to say that I am not that men are incomparable treasure things. I have is a warm person. I urgently desire a heterosexual, has also had to hang a heart warning heterosexual. Finally, this metamorphosis of psychological finally make them a one around me disappeared from the .
“I do not want to fall in love again. I hate even more to the point is the fear of contact with the opposite sex. I have lost so much, I really lose their cool. Lost it, I can not stand.
“So I started to dislike all with a man with, and even love with the thing. TV’s men and women hugging and kissing scenes, I will immediately Three to switch off the television set; His film men and women in love, I will throw the chair to stand up at once left; Members talked about their clients or marriage , originally told me a little bit relations, I would involuntarily their faces suddenly pull-old, with black-face, others quickly scared mouth shut. I do not want this to happen, but I acting out of control.
“I said to the others, often said what the Commissioner has satisfactorily, it is too serious. In fact, people do not want to live like this, I can not change.
“Physiological continually producing hormones and psychological problems they fear, both physically and psychologically unbalanced, in order to solve the boredom, I have learned … to masturbate.”
Her eyes stare at in great eyes stare at the front Tumbling certain things. Her voice trembling, people out of this was very painful in the past.
“I can not find the lifting of the suffering of their own way. I repeatedly asked myself, why did you give up the right to love? You is not lacking so what ‘virgin Po’? The men then used what they confirmed to the woman’s chastity? Why men to women so demanding?
“I sometimes think I should liberate themselves, so what ‘virgin Po’ hell! I can not imagine there is no blood in the wedding night.
“I no longer want this life to love, not marriage. I was a virgin, I will never be that the coroner virgins! I not only touch a man I can confirm that I was indeed a virgin … “
